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from_Male_to_Female
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Name: Robin
Country: Canada
Birthday: 3/16/1976
Interests: I have many interests; personal philosophy, music (all kinds), movies (all kinds), computers (programming, chatting, games), photoshopping, and transgenderism (crossdressing, feminization) just to name a few. I also have an interest in bondage, discipline, D/s, and s&m.
Expertise: There is only one expertise I may be able to lay my claim on, and that is being human.
Occupation: Customer service/support
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
12/30/2004
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| I now know where my girlfriend stands on the subject of my
transgenderism, she briefly told me today that if I want to explore or
pursue feminization, to let her know so that we can break up first. She
said she cannot be my girlfriend if I were to follow the path of living
as a woman, but she would support me as a best girl friend. Of course,
that is no surprise to me. I knew what her response would be after
thinking it over for awhile.
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| I do not want to go to work today, yet I must.
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| (actually written December 29) Last night, I took the first step of
what will be a long, difficult journey filled with judgements,
obstacles, and lifestyle changes. I came out of my "closet" as I told
my girlfriend that I am a transgender. It was a long night, followed by
a long day. The conversation started before midnight, lasted throughout
the night, and continued through the next morning and evening. I even
stayed home from work just so we were not interrupted. There was a lot
of talking, expressing, and many emotional moments. We talked about how
this realization could impact our future, or even our being together--
especially depending on the nature of my transgenderism. I cannot say
how deep my transgender nature runs, and there are many questions I
have to answer. I once thought I had a "female side" to me, and as far
as I knew it was counter-balanced by my "male side". However, in recent
weeks I have come to the conclusion there are no sides, there is only
one. That is the female. The male I portray is a shield created by the
female to protect myself, socially and emotionally. The question is,
"Who or what does my woman want to express herself as"? Occasional
crossdresser? She-male? Transexual? My girlfriend is an amazing woman,
but with that said, she has always dreamed of marrying a "man", not a
"woman". Can I live my life as a man when my inner desire is to be a
woman? I do not have the answer. Of course, to answer a more
conventional question-- No, I am not "gay". I am bisexual, and I am
attracted to women as I am attracted to men. It is time to truly think
for myself.
(today) I have been having problems sleeping. I have no doubt that it
is the gender bending thoughts which constantly invade my head which
are causing my insomnia. I sleep for maybe a hour, maybe two .....
three, if I am lucky. I have not been to work for two days, either from
the lack of sleep or just the simple lack of wanting to go there.
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